Double Jeopardy: The Idoits Strike Back
by Fierce Deity Link
Summary: I got some good responses from the first one I did, so here's another one. Stars Ganondorf, Link, and Ruto. Enjoy! And yes, this is a parody of a SNL Skit.


DOUBLE JEOPARDY:  
THE IDOITS STRIKE BACK  
  
*Jeopardy music plays as Rauru walks in with his head low*  
  
Rauru: Welcome back to "Hyrule Jeopardy"! We've got quite a contest going on here, lets take a look at the scores. Ganondorf is in second place with -6,500 rupees…  
  
Ganondorf: Only on accountability!  
  
Rauru: Great. Uh…Ruto is in first with a commanding score of 0.  
  
Ruto: *repeatedly presses her buzzer* Umm…what is history?  
  
Rauru: We haven't started playing yet! And finally, Link, with an incredible score of -17,800 rupees.  
  
Link: *gestures to the audience and blows them a kiss* Well…uh, yes…I suppose I do.  
  
Rauru: Better luck to all of you, in the next round. It's time for Double Jeopardy, let's take a look at the board. And the categories are: "Potent Potables", "Literature", "Therapist", "Hylian Princesses", "Show and Tell", "Household Items", and "One-Letter Words". Link the board is yours.  
  
Link: Well…uh, this is…uh, Jeopardy…seeing as there are…uh one, two, three, four, five, six…ahh…seven…uh, seven different categories…  
  
Rauru: Right, Ganondorf, why don't you pick?  
  
Ganondorf: It looks like it's my lucky day! I'll take "The Rapist" for 200.  
  
Rauru: That's "Therapist." That's "Therapist," not "the Rapist." Lets skip "Therapist" and try "Household Items" for 400. And the answer is, "You usually drink water out of one of these." *Ganondorf buzzes in*  
  
Ganondorf: A leather glove!  
  
Rauru: No!! *Ruto buzzes in*  
  
Ruto: A toilet?!  
  
Rauru: That's awful. *Link buzzes in*  
  
Link: *all he does is point and marvel at the buzzer until time runs out*  
  
Rauru: And you are an idiot! And the answer was, "a glass."  
  
Ganondorf: Then the day is mine!  
  
Rauru: Technically, it's still Links turn, but since he's a Hylian waste-land, I'll let you pick again.  
  
Ganondorf: Ohhhh, I'll play your game, you rogue! Let's try "The Rapist" for 20.  
  
Rauru: How about, "Show and Tell" for 600? I'll just show you an object, and you'll tell me what it is, okay?  
  
Ganondorf: It's a fat man with a mustache!  
  
Rauru: No, I'm not the object! I haven't shown it to you yet. Here it is. *he holds up a hammer* Name this object! *Ruto buzzes in*  
  
Ruto: It's a popsicle!  
  
Rauru: No!! *Link buzzes in*  
  
Link: Yes, uh…thank you. That's a…uh…a what-do-you-call it when you…umm…when you…when you punish someone in…uh…days of yore. It was a…and you'd put them in the…uh…the square in those…you know…uh…  
  
Rauru: You mean in the stocks or pillory?  
  
Link: Yes! Exactly!  
  
Rauru: It's a Freaking hammer!!  
  
Ganondorf: Now, listen to me! You back off Rauru! You wouldn't have known that if you didn't have that card in front of you!  
  
Rauru: Whatever! Lets move on to "Hylian Princesses" for 400. And the answer is: "She has blond hair, and you've seen her at the castle…", "…Her name is Zelda…" *no responds* "…Please some one simply say, 'Who is Zelda'." *still no responds* Some one just say it! Anyone! *buzzer sounds* …and the show has reached a new low.  
  
Ganondorf: And I'm the Cock of the Walk!  
  
Rauru: Lets just move to "Final Jeopardy". And the category is, "Letters of the Alphabet." All you have to do is write down a letter. Any letter at all. For instance, "A" or "G" *"Final Jeopardy Theme" plays, as the contestants write furiously* There is no reason why any of you should be writing this much! Please, just write down a letter of the alphabet. *Rauru and rest of contestants start to stair at Link who is waving his arms around in slow strides* Link evidently is doing Tai Chi over there…*time runs out* lets see what Ganondorf wrote.*a picture of a large hand giving the "Finger" appears* Okay, that's not a letter.  
  
Ganondorf: Ha-Haa!!  
  
Rauru: Beautiful. Just beautiful. Ruto, lets see what you wrote. *screen reveals a drawing of an eye* You drew a picture of an eye?!  
  
Ruto: Well, "I" is a letter isn't it?  
  
Rauru: Are you a Hylian or retarded? Lets go to Link, who appears to still be doing Tai Chi. Lets see what your answer is. *screen reveals a huge number 2* The number 2?  
  
Link: Ah-hah, ah-hah, ah-hah…the Letter 2, my friend.  
  
Rauru: No, 2 is a number.  
  
Link: I, uh…I can't read or write.  
  
Rauru: Good for you. Well, as always, I'm Rauru, and the three of you should be ashamed of yourselves! Good night! 


End file.
